Most people experience anger in some form or shape from time to time. For some, it’s an explosive and unstable outburst and for others it’s more of an inward compression of negativity.
In spite of this you personally express anger, be conscious that it is doing some harm and you would be better off without it. Today I’m going to look at piece by piece why anger is so detrimental, what anger actually is and where it comes from and some tips for reducing it.
If you think about the above statement for a moment – there’s a lot of truth in it. When we are angry, it’s usually at someone else or something else and so we experience intense feelings of negativity towards that person.
The paradox is that often the person whom we are directing the anger towards, is blissfully unaware that we are doing so! This signifies that the only person who is receiving the anger is you, yourself. And what’s the point in that?
What is Anger?
Let’s break it down. Anger is an emotional reaction to something that is not turning out how we would like it to. So, it’s basically a control issue (like most difficulties). When we feel angry – it’s because someone did something that we didn’t expected or some kind of incident has gone in a way that we didn’t plan.
As human beings we have this inborn desire to be in control 24*7, but all this unexpected desire bring discomfort and frustration into our lives. The sooner we learn to give a free rein and stop trying to control everything, the easier it is to enjoy life and live successfully without any hindrance.
The Dangers of Anger
Anger eat you up inside and cause all sorts of health complaints (angry people are five times more likely to have a heart attack than calm people); not only this, it also puts you into a very vulnerable state. The irony is, when you’re angry – you’re not in control (and control is the very thing that you are seeking!). When you’re not in control, you can wind up saying and doing things that don’t reflect the real you.
How many times have you regretted saying things in the heat of an argument? How often have you felt upset at the thought of how you behaved during an angry outburst? How many friends and family members have you hurt because of your own ferocity or anger?
The sad fact is – anger reveals the worst version of who we are, and it does little to advance us in any way.
Simple Life Strategy: 5 Ways to Reduce Anger
Choose to leave the worst version of yourself behind by succeeding on ways to reduce your anger. These 5 steps will help you get started.
1. Start by becoming aware of how often feelings of anger pop up. Did you realize just how often you were caught in the grips of anger?
2. Observe why you are feeling angry in the first place – what is it that you’re trying to control?
3. Notice if the person or thing that you are angry at is even aware of how you’re feeling? Think about if it’s worth being angry if the only person it’s hurting is you?
4. Isolate yourself from the emotion of anger its-self, sit back and observe the feelings and simply wait until the anger fritters away.
5. End with a positive spin – choose to believe that even though things haven’t gone as you originally planned there’s always something to learn from the experience (look for a positive).
“Learning is a gift, even when pain is your teacher“.
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